EXTERNAL VALIDATION.

we all need it from time to time.some say that it is a symptom of a lack of a healthy sense of one's worth and self esteem,hence we project the search for that affirmation outwards,rather than inwards or upwards(to a God,or destiny,or cow - depending on your preferred persuasion).well well whatever the case,at this particular point in time,all i know is im feeling what bryan felt a few months back when the moe internship results came out.really,as pathetically sheltered as we might be stereotyped to be,the weeks/months ahead is one when LEFT BEHIND and REJECTION sentiments will efface and rage.now i think i know what it means to be surrounded by smart kids and feeling,even if only for fleeting moments when self-doubt comes knocking seductively,that life is damn tough and the competition is commensurately tough too.magnify this sentiment disproportionately out of this context and you get the (remote) roots of the disenchanted and disillusioned class,eating away insidiously at the uplifting notion of SOCIAL MOBILITY in a MERITOCRACY.

but im determined to end the year on a right,healthy,wholesome,optimistic note.hence,i shall keep this sentiment to the confines of the virtual world.and in any case,great company(mostly handsome boys)makes for great antidote to such depressive moods.

to those who can relate,either in degree or in kind,to the sentiment aforementioned,welcome to the club.membership is ever growing; we are the perpetual majority.

to those whose beautiful world the above sentiment,both in substance and style,does not taint,promise the rest of the proletariat that you'll be a nice,kind and well-meaning person,even when you soar promisingly through the elusive clouds and heavens,"gleaming like silver,safe and proud above the hot struggles of the poor".

in happier news,IM MTG THE HOMIES TMR!and i hope post-christmas sales perk me up a bit more.okay okay bye bye boys and girls!

HI DA JIA HAO!!!!!!

merry christmas!!!ho ho ho.hope you had a blast!!!i think i did and im quite amused at what transpired on/across christmas morning/christmas eve's night.new experiences always very novel.my first catholic mass!!!solid man.but more solid perhaps wad the illegal escapades of gab and i after kim went home.FLOATING PLATFORM,WE LIKE :)

sis is in hongkong now.with her frenzzz holidaying.chi dong xi mai dong xi.and tt morning when we went to airport to see her off(sorry my family does this sort of lovely silly things like sending you off at the airport when you are going for a 6day holiday trip hahaha) i saw zhuang there.who was going taiwan.and he says bernice also going.and i can go on and on about frenz who are holidaying/holidayed and HERE I AM STILL STUCK IN SPORE THIS ENTIRE HOLS.i am indeed sad/angry tt we didnt plan properly to go VIETNAM or PHUKET.

i love my boys but u noe ah i srsly think we cannot EVER ever open a company together and work there.we'll drive each other nuts.like how george/naresh etc. drive me nuts when their non-commital approach to life PISSES ME OFF.but well LOVE IS THE STUFF INSIDE and friendships are all about knowing your frensz' flaws,but still being able to love and accept them.IT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND AND HO HO HO.

i've been feeling really fine recently.in a way,im happily dwelling in a bubble which the cynic in me know will have to burst one day.life is not a bed of roses,hello.but but but FOR NOW,as nicole kidman romantically announced in the movie Australia,THERE IS RAIN: im loving every bit of this emotional equilibrium and well yes,slight excesses;i walk around the streets talking to myself,thinking happy thoughts and lol just basically coming across as some lunatic to strangers.like today,before meeting ngiam and the hot girls,i was slowly leisurely strolling along pasir ris beach and smiling at the little pretty sights my eyes chanced upon.and haha i even befriended a stranger who was flying kite!

well yes.it is also highly amusing that one yr on,it is my homies feeling what i felt this time last year.probably the only major taint of my rj life haha.but it's all good now.and now when i tell my troubled boys that IT'LL ALL GET BETTER IN TIME,i cant help but smile at the absurdity of my feelings back then.little kids growing up la...inevitable.anyway yes.there is such wisdom in DIVERSIFYING YOUR EMOTIONS!!im quite proud of coining that :)

in other news,it is POST CHRISTMAS ladies and gentleman.time to rid those wardrobe of those filth and buy new clothes at mad prices!!which will be what i intend to do tmr and next week!!post christmas sales is the bomb.BUT I VERY SAD ALSO.i wasted 70 BUCKS WORTH OF TOPMAN VOUCHERS cause expiry date was CHRISTMAS.sigh sigh.i learn my lesson on PUNCTUALITY well i promise.or maybe i can try to pimp the counter aunty.hahah we'll see :P

as with most kids,i've just been slacking/meeting up with darlings and sweeties/doing uni apps and reading.tts how i spend my dayszzx and yes i know "getting fit" is sorely lacking from the equation.i'll see to it soon la.starting next year den!!!!!!and since im gna be running those camps thingy,it's high time i start running and or go gym with ugly burmese and ngiam.okay okay i will.

BUDDIES OUTING WAS VERY GOOD TODAY.i was telling cj,i really like those girls.i like how it feels like when they are around :) and somemore now someone can drive already ah!even more incentives to meet up and play.in light of this,9th jan when pach and shiwei fly back to london and usa respectively will be saddeningzz.but all hail the power of the internet at connecting people.

BOYS AND GIRLS HAVE A FUN TIME AHEAD AND 2009 IS COMING SOON.EVERY YEAR,SINCE HORMONES STARTED RAGING AND EMOTIONS STARTING BECOME INDEPENDENT,I'VE ALWAYS LOOKED BACK AT THE CLOSING YEAR WITH SLIGHT AMAZEMENT AND DISBELIEF.HOW CAN LIFE PASS YOU BY SO QUICKLY!HOW CAN SO MUCH HAPPEN IN ONE YEAR!YES ITS BEEN A LOOOOONG YEAR,MADE LONGER ONLY BY THE A LEVELS.BUT AH WELL,HERE WE ARE ONCE AGAIN,AT THE THRESHOLD OF A BRAND NEW YEAR.

BOUNDLESS POSSIBILITIES ARE BRIMMING BENEATH THE PETALS CONCEALING THE WONDERS THAT 2009 MIGHT BRING.YAY LETS GO!!

merry christmas eve everybody!

all of the swines are sleeping,some are obviously and audibly snoring...

christmas dinner was <3

and im slowly but surely learning why love is the stuff inside :)

bryan made us watch this mini documentary on youtube about the end of the world being on 21st dec 2012.that means when we are 22.gosh we still have the rest of our lives then...it'll not be a pretty time to go meet your Creator.but well,the previous hooha about the millennium was just crap.so who knows?

anyway its really late and i should take the first step toward fixing my body clock.goodnight boys and girls,and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

photos soon :)

i was pseudo voyeuring (wrong use of the word.do not learn from me kids,pls) on facebook and wow wow i think WE ARE IN FOR SOME REAL CHANGE IN THE MONTHS/YEARS AHEAD baby.we're on a PRECIPITOUS CLIFF of growth and change and newness from everywhere ahead!

"WE ARE STILL YOUNG AND HAVE OUR WHOLE LIVES AHEAD OF US" --> somehow i really like this line and all that is represents.it's nice to cuddle in that knowledge :)

things have been really sweet and dandy nowadays.but in other news,i do feel some seriousness is warranted for some issues.i've been watching too many things recently.from Snow White at the drama centre...to BOLT/the snogging show/the day the earth stood freaking still.so its imaginations and amusements galore.birthday surprises here and there top it all off.now i know what the missing piece is...but dont worry,I SHALL SEE TO ITS INCLUSION IN MY JIGSAW PUZZLE REAL SOON.

some darlings are currently overseas/about to fly off...i miss them quite a bit :(

doing university applications is quite a therapeutic experience as it makes you run through certain more memorable episodes of your life.and you try to use your little brain to unravel the little lessons these episodes imparted to you...and the journey is frankly rather reflective.but it gets repetitive if you have numerous essays to write i know.but oh well.we're all just being hopeful,idealistic and optimistic people here so just enjoy the process.

see you guys real soon,and even though this isnt exactly a coherent post as i've earlier promised...it sure beats elusive statements that only me and my homies can understand HEHE.okay okay bye bye people :)

random prom photos now!

this life is good

SO I GUESS THIS IS HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO BE DAISY FAY:

... a promise that she had done gay, exciting things just a while since and that there were gay, exciting things hovering in the next hour.



enjoy life before tekong comes and snatch away your boyfriends/own life,girls/boys.i shall blog more coherently next time! :D

i was browsing through photos of ocomm's escapades to the Special Administrative Region aka. Hong Kong and i was ZOMGXX I WANNA GO HOLIDAYING TOO.bad time management and lack of proper pre Alevels planning sucks......but NVM.i shall hold fast to my belief that a vietnam/phuket can happen with the guys at the end of dec!or at least australia next year :)

in gloomier news,george is hospitalized as he got bitten by some weird-yet-to-be-detected creature in thai during his ocip.so we visited him earlier just now and it was a perverse place to be meeting up with old friends.anyhow his leg is super swollen.but i bet he's damn glad for frenz like us.and a spokesman as efficient as me!and he's recovering la so dudes and dudettes who noe him dont worry too much.message me if u wanna visit him!and this reminds me of my adventure to raffles hospital with gab last week too.we were happily shopping when his tummy decided to become dramatic and we booked a cab and rushed down to lu's palace at bugis i.e. THE LU EMPIRE.again,i played the role of a spokesman.think smses like "gab is in hospital!SPREAD THE WORD!".even if the wording was frivolous,the sentiment wasn't k.anyhow,HEALTH IS WEALTH so we must try to eat right,stay fit and sleep well (im guilty for 3 out of the 3).

in happier news,i met up with harry on friday for our long belated lunch date.harry is still as hairless but i see army has done his chest some solid good heh.after our sumptious lunch at crystal jade we jalan jalan in town where he splurged on t shirts which i found ill-fitting for me.maybe cos he is fat thats why they fitted him.haha but yeah harry is still the same RELACK JACK ah.how time flies man i first knew him at min kai's party in sec1!one of my closest seniors definitely and we'll meet up soon since i've so much time before april,when the reckoning with jungles begins steadfastly.

after that it was games comm stayover at junyang's.the chronic gambling addiction amongst some of my friends manifested itself and thus,mahjong was the order of the night.on the sidelines,less degenerated people played bridge and other healthier alternatives.midnight supper was delicious haha esp when i didnt have to cook them!but i had to wash the dishes la but its okay we r mature independent kids yo.jerlyn and bezzy left early while some of us stayed up till the break of dawnzx.this is a bit lag,but SPIDER MAN 3 IS A SUPERB SHOW WITH MANY LESSONS FOR LIFE!go watch pls!

psc tea session,as usual,gave me similar sensations and sentiments.but okay i must learn how to not worry about things beyond my control.anyway im damn amused by how some kids behave all so courteously and docilely when meeting people.i mean,sure we're mtg for the first time and its good to leave nice little impressions.but haiyah these ceremonial niceties and bows and hellos and handshakes must be genuine and sincere what!so most of the time i run afoul of these conventions and just talk to that person like i do with an old friend.not much differentiation there i know,but its easier and franker this way :)

4E KRASS GATHERING WAS GOOD STUFF.thanks yane for such foresight!haha.but im afraid everyone enjoyed himself other than jaymond's gf whom i presume to be bored...oops sorry!and really,i think about how long some of us have not met and it pains me to know that throughout the past 2 yrs,really there were so many things which we neglected.friendships from the old would be one example.and in light of all this,im glad that i've till april before i go army la.finally a time without hardcore commitments which have characterized a typical singaporean's life since birth and esp in school and later in life,at work.time for me to dig deep and actually live LIFE,without any qualifications in front.SCHOOL life...WORK life...no no no.now its simply LIFE :) and it is heartening to know that no one has changed much haha.photos soon!

the bali boys are back and i'll be mtg nick for lunch tmr.prob get some last minute stuff for prom if needed.the little excitement about buying nice stuff to wear for prom is extinguished by high prices and lack of income :( haha.AND I NEED TO START MUGGING FOR SAT2 PLS.

finally,if any of you happen to have a wide social network and your relations thus extend even to the folds of temasek junior college...please inform them that i'll be relief teaching there next yr!so haha we can meet for lunch since i'll be a lonely minority among the staffroom!or probably i'll meet enough aunties to pimp.LOL.but ya the moe internship results finally out and yup im posted to tjc.pretty near my place so its not bad.and somemore its very nice vs so i can drop by to look for my old teachers and frenz after my conceivably short days in tj.the money is not bad,but not as good as direct relief teaching,which bryan and i still hope to do sometime in march next year.

for now,goodnight and have a good day ahead.i kinda like this quote i stumbled upon somewhere so here goes!

"EVERY FOOTSTEP IN LIFE TREMBLES WITH POSSIBILITIES,EVERY MILE IS BIG WITH DESTINY" -- margaret fishback powers (VERY cool name pls)